The Vulnerability of Meeting Our Womb

It's super messy, beautiful, weird, uncomfortable, intriguing, and fascinating.

The biggest thing I’ve discovered so far in tracking my cycle and learning to connect to my womb wisdom is how vulnerable the process has made me feel. I’m rarely someone who is comfortable with the unknown. I prefer knowing as many variables as possible to minimize the unexpected, though life rarely complies.

In the months since I’ve begun this discovery and reconnection process, I’ve noticed an ever present sense of mental and emotional exposure. I’ve had to lean into deep truths within myself, including that I find this whole process equal parts weird, uncomfortable, intriguing and fascinating.

It’s vulnerable to admit that I didn’t know this part of me was so important to my sense of self, my empowerment, and my authentic voice. I didn’t know that it holds so many memories, stories, pain, potential and pleasure. The truth is, until a few months ago, I rarely even put my hand on this part of my body. It’s vulnerable to face the emotions that rise up as I do it now.

It’s vulnerable to recognize that even though I was super excited, in the beginning my womb space was silent. Finally, after four months of daily presence and deep listening I’ve begun receiving insights from her in return. I don’t blame her one bit. I wouldn’t trust me either after being ignored and deemed a nuisance for so many decades.

She is quite direct in her messages, which surprised me because I was expecting some softness. The wisdom I receive is more like a torch that cuts through to the truth rather than weaving intrigues and metaphors. In short, she’s been real with me, pointing out beliefs that still hold me back, like feeling helpless to create change, believing I have to earn my rest, or that my voice isn’t powerful enough or knowledgeable enough.

I’m grateful for my energetic and intuitive practices, and the somatic training because I know how to hold space for myself, my body, my emotions and my soul during this time of discovery of my womb wisdom.

I’m also grateful for my writing practice because the words help me to make sense of this path and what I think and feel. If I had to hold all of it in my brain I would explode.

This journey has been profoundly vulnerable and I’m not making myself wrong for feeling this way. In fact, I am celebrating this as my biggest progress.

I am also not expecting perfection of any kind. I am open to being present with whatever results this path brings my way; no matter how messy. I have learned to embrace the mess even though I don’t like most messes.

But the path of the womb is messy! Menstruation is messy. So is birth (whether a child or a project). Creating is messy. Perimenopause is super messy. Life feels like a blender and sometimes I very much hate it. But now I know how to be present for it instead of dissociating or numbing out. And it’s still hard. Even when I receive what I want it’s sometimes hard to hold all the joy of it.

What the vulnerability of reconnecting to my womb has shown me is that I have capacity for all of it: the mess, the unknown, the beliefs I still have to unravel, the parts of me that still hurt, the joy of reconnection and the creativity.

I’m creating a space where we can have conscious conversation about womb consciousness, share stories and learn how to reconnect with our feminine wisdom and the power of our cycles. If you’re curious, you can join me here.